Pain In The Neck
by umi amano
Summary: The Law of Ueki The sun was shining brightly and a cool breeze caressed the whole Haydn Mansion.Yup,it was a perfectly normal day.At least it is to me,Robert Haydn.It was the end of my past and my sore attitude.Or so I thought… Robert X Marilyn
1. Pain In The Neck

Hello! I am back with a Law of Ueki story! Actually, this is more of an experimental pairing, but my cousin said it's somewhat famous. Anyway, I hope you do appreciate it. Someday, I want to create a fandom of this pairing. Well, here you go!

**Anime: Ueki No Housoku (The Law of Ueki)**

**Pairing: Robert Haydn/Marilyn Cary**

**Genre: Romance/Humor**

**A Pain In The Neck (Robert's POV)**

It was an ordinary day. The sun was shining brightly and a cool breeze caressed the whole Haydn Mansion. Yup, it was a perfectly normal day. At least it is to me, Robert Haydn. At last, the God Candidate Battle is over. It was the end of my dreadful past and my pitiful attitude. Everything was going to be peaceful. Or so I thought…

Flashback; Heaven

My father, Margarette, called for me. Naturally, being my good old self, I went there, only to hear shocking news. But before that, my father has been thrown out by the hellion who swallowed him. So that's that. This was my real father, not Anon's.

So I stood in front of my father. I gave him a cheery smile and he smiled back.

"Good morning, father. It's nice to see that you are finally back."

"Yes. It's nice to see you too, son, and to be able to talk to you in a normal way, without anyone in between. Good morning. Anyway, I'm here to tell you something important."

"What is it, father?"

"As you know, you are a heavenly being. But when you were young, you were sent to the human world to live with humans. Because of this, you developed a human's sense and a human's point of view. You are now accustomed to human cultures and traditions. So, I thought that it is but right to let you continue to live with humans."

"Alright, so…?"

"So…" my father continued, "I'm here to announce something very important. You, my son, are engaged."

Okay. I'm engaged. It took at least five seconds to register that inside my brain. I was speechless but the smile in my face remained. Maybe my nerves found it hard to react too. My father's smile widened. Maybe he thought I was glad, because my smile remained, but I wasn't. No, not at all.

"I'm engaged to whom?"

"To a fellow gifted, a power user. Don't worry."

"She should be. I'm asking the name."

My father just smiled. He turned around and smiled at someone.

"Dear, please come here…"

Alright. So as soon as he said that, a young lady, about fifteen (the same age as me), walked towards us. She had bushy (or fluffy?) blonde hair that was pony tailed. She also had blue eyes. Enough said, she was a female me. I was staring at her, either because I'm astonished at how she looks so much like me or because I think I've seen her before. Whichever it is, I'm still not up for this whole engagement thing.

My father then decided to speak up.

"Robert, this is Ms. Marilyn Cary. She's a power user. She can turn one second into ten seconds for herself. She is the leader of the Marilyn Team, who participated in the last God Candidate Battle."

_Oh so that's why the face is familiar..._

And so, Marilyn bowed. I just continued to smile at her. What was I supposed to say, will you marry me? She was grinning malevolently at me. At that time, I knew she was going to be a handful. Oh how my head ached…

"It's very nice to meet you, Robert Haydn. As Mr. Margarette said, I'm Marilyn Cary. I'm a power user. I'm able to transform one second into ten seconds for myself. And, apart from that, I am your fiancée."

Fiancée. God, the word hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't believe she's up to this nonsense. Well why shouldn't she be? I'm THE Robert Haydn after all. But enough of that. I need to focus. I need all of my willpower to survive this confusing onslaught. So, I just smiled at her, like always.

_Oh… once Ueki and the others hear about this, I am so dead…_

"Why it's nice to meet you, Marilyn. I'm Robert Haydn. I'm sure you've heard of me from my father. Well, I guess we're engaged."

My father decided not to butt in. His usual (and oh so annoying) smile was still plastered on his face.

"Yes. We are engaged. And apart from that, starting yesterday, we'll be living in the same house." She then grinned at this statement.

We'll be living in the same house? My nerves were paralyzed. They didn't do anything to react. All they did was to keep that smile in my face. Goddamn them for betraying me like this. I was set-up. Yes, by my father. He calls himself my father but why is he punishing me like this? Maybe he's still a hellion…oh what am I thinking!?

I decided to reply.

"I see. Well, it'll be a pleasure." I flashed her an equally malevolent grin. I thought it would scare her a bit but instead, hers grew wider. I was slightly taken aback. This girl is a monster. She's the only one not scared of me. Oh goddamn it all…

"Yes. Trust me, it'll be…"

End of Flashback

That's what happened three months ago. At present, we are living at my mansion. Yes, only the two of us. Father said something about training.

_Training huh? Talk to the hand…_

So, right now, I am drinking a hot mug of coffee. I prepared it myself. You may ask: shouldn't Marilyn, your "fiancée", prepare it for you, like a normal, loving wife?

The answer is yes. She should be the one preparing this for me. After all, even if we're still not married, she IS the wife. At least someday, she WILL be the wife. This was supposed to be part of HER training.

But no. The "wife" is still sleeping. I had no choice. I wanted coffee so I had to make it myself.

Anyway, enough of this stupid babble.

So, I am sitting on the couch at the living room, waiting for my "beloved" fiancée to wake up. Like I said before, I was drinking coffee. But apart from that, I'm also reading the newspaper. Yes, I'm acting like a normal husband. Perfectly normal. So normal you wouldn't notice I am a power user. While I continued to read, I heard noise coming from the…kitchen?

That was weird. Marilyn still hadn't passed by the stairs. If that noise was her doing, I should've seen her pass by the stairs. After all, when you go downstairs, you'll instantly land on the living room, where I am now. So I stared at the kitchen door. I waited and waited and waited. And after some time, the door opened. My fiancée came out, wearing her spaghetti-strapped white night gown. She was carrying a mug of God-knows-what. She then smiled at me and walked towards me.

She smiled at me and sat beside me. Now I know that it was tea inside the mug she was holding. She then turned to me and said…

"Good morning, dear."

Dear. She's acting like we're already married. But that isn't new for me. She's always playing those silly games. Those games always amuse me for some reason. I have never found it boring or silly at all. So I decided to play along with her.

_Two can play the same game, woman…_

"Well, good morning, my beloved fiancée. How was your sleep last night?" At that, I placed my coffee and my newspaper on top of the coffee table in front of us. I shifted my position and decided to focus on her. I smiled at her. I knew she wanted the attention. Especially if it was coming from me…

"I had a great sleep, dear. How about you?" She then sipped her tea.

"Yes. I had a great sleep too. So how long are we going to pretend like we're already married, Marilyn?"

"For as long as I like, Robert. Why? Do you have any objections?"

"Even if I had, you would be ignoring it completely, my dear."

"That's right." She then placed her teacup on top of the coffee table. She shifted her position and faced me. She was still grinning mischievously and malevolently at me.

"So, since we're 'married'…" I decided to tease her a bit. No. I decided to tease her full-on. "…why don't you give me a morning kiss?"

I was amused. A light blush crept on her face. But still, she regained her composure.

"A morning kiss? Why should I give you a morning kiss?"

"Because I'm your husband and you're my wife. Isn't that normal for couples, my dear?"

"It is but I'm not in the mood for a kiss right now, sweetie…"

"Really?"

"Really."

"But…"

I then pulled her closer to me. She blushed harder. I was really really amused. I didn't know I made her blush. Our faces were inches from each other. I was still grinning at her. The grin on her face, however, disappeared completely. The expression on her face was a mixture of anger, fear, and…wanting?

"Robert Haydn, release me this once…"

"No. I don't want to."

"Robert Haydn, if you don't release me, I will slap you hard in the face…"

"Alright, go. Though the law doesn't permit spousal abuse…"

"Spousal abuse? We're not yet married!"

I gasped a fake gasp. A fake hurt expression adorned my face.

"We're not yet married? How could you say that, my dear wife?"

"Robert, let's stop this nonsense at once."

"No. I don't want to."

"Robert!"

"It's just a kiss. It won't hurt."

"Alright, fine. Kiss me then."

Marilyn closed her eyes. She was really waiting for me to kiss her. So I leaned closer to her. I leaned closer to her…ear. I whispered something in her ear.

"Maybe next time, my dear wife…"

I then stood up and walked away. From the kitchen, I could hear her angry mumbling. I just laughed at her childish antics.

I, Robert Haydn, therefore conclude that being engaged is a pain in the neck.

I just LOVE this pairing! I hope you support it! I hope you like my story! I hope you learn to love the pairing! See you in my next Robert/Marilyn fic!


	2. Shopping With Robert

Hi there! I'm back! I've decided to make this story a series of one-shots! I mean, it's amazing how people reacted to the story. I'm glad everyone accepted the pairing! Thank You!

**Shopping With Robert**

**Marilyn's POV**

It was a wonderful morning. I, Marilyn Cary, am preparing for what's about to happen today. Today, Robert Haydn will accompany me to the shopping arcade. Can you believe it? I managed to persuade him with a quick play of words.

That led me to what I am doing right now. Right now, I'm smoothing my pleated skirt for the umpteenth time. When I was finally satisfied with how I look, I quickly turned around and admired my reflection on the full-length mirror. I smiled.

_Well, here it goes…_

**After some time…**

I was walking towards the Kashiwagi Fountain Plaza. That's where we're supposed to meet. I took my sweet time walking primly, even if I'm already ten minutes late. I want to see how he'll react. I want to annoy the crap out of him.

Why, you ask?

Well, because, I wanted to get revenge. He made me look like a fool yesterday morning. I thought he was really going to kiss me but he didn't. The jerk.

After a couple of minutes, I finally reached my destination. There I saw Robert, sitting on the ledge of the fountain, looking down blankly. He was wearing a pair of black pants, a white shirt, and a houndstooth sweater vest. I must admit, he really looked gorgeous.

He wasn't aware of my presence until I was actually standing beside him. He then looked at me and smiled.

"You're ten minutes late…" he said with a smile.

"I know that, but…" I grinned malevolently at him "You can't do anything about it, Robert…"

"I can't right now but…" he grinned back at me "I'll do something about it later…" at that, he stood up.

"So 'dear', how do I look?" I asked with a smile.

"You look…good." He replied with a smile.

How could I not look good? I'm wearing my frilly white top and my light blue pleated skirt. My hair's tied up in a ponytail. I just smiled at him.

"Why thank you, dear…" I slipped my right arm around his left arm. "Shall we go now?"

We then both walked away.

**After some time…**

**Robert's POV**

We were walking around the Kashiwagi Shopping District. Marilyn was still tugging on my arm. She laid her head on top of my left shoulder. It was…embarrassing. I could see some people looking and giggling at us. Sadly, I could hear what they're saying. And they're all girls, for god's sake!

"Oh look at them. They look so adorable!"

"Yeah! They're so cute!"

"I bet they do it…"

_I bet they do it._ Now that last comment really got to me. How the hell could a member of an immature species conclude that just by seeing her tugging onto me? That's crazy! Marilyn and I don't do "it", whatever she meant by "it". My inner rumblings stopped when Marilyn spoke up.

"It's strange, Robert. You're not complaining!" She then looked at me.

"Complaining? About what?"

"You know, me tugging onto you like this."

"Oh…I don't mind, really." I said as a matter of factly

She giggled. That caught my attention so I looked at her.

"We really look like a couple, don't we?"

I groaned. _Oh brother…_

I was once again surprised when she gasped. Before I knew it, she was standing in front of a dress shop's window. Several mannequins were displayed there. Even I could tell that she was ogling the dresses those mannequins were wearing.

"That dress is absolutely cute!" She turned to me, her eyes sparkling, or are they twinkling? "Let's go inside!"

She then dragged me inside the dress shop. _I swear I'm going to destroy this shop someday…_

**Inside The Shop…**

Marilyn was ogling a rack of dresses while I sat on a couch across her. She has been doing this for ten minutes or so. I couldn't help but yawn.

_This is so boring…_

Suddenly, this about twenty year old guy stood behind Marilyn. When Marilyn bent down to check the other dresses, her skirt went a bit up, enough for someone standing behind her to see her underwear.

Of course, I was tempted to peek. I'm still a young fifteen year old man with raging hormones caged within me, after all. But, with all the self control I could muster, I managed to compose myself properly.

On the other hand, the guy standing behind her was about to peek inside her skirt. Of course, I knew I needed to do something. I snapped. Suddenly, the guy found himself inside a human-sized bubble. The guy was horrified.

"Ahh! What's this!? Let me out of here!"

Sadly, no one could hear him. I made the bubble so as not to let any sound come in or out of it. The bubble flew high outside. I stood up and went outside too.

I innocently smiled towards the guy's direction before snapping once again. The bubble disappeared. The guy fell from the sky, shrieking. It was a good thing a hanging pole caught his coat or else he would be a goner. Soon, everyone was looking at the hanging guy. I couldn't help but chuckle.

_That's a lesson you should never ever forget…_

**Marilyn's POV**

I heard a commotion outside so I ran outside. I saw Robert smiling at something. I followed his smile and was surprised to see a guy hanging on a pole on top of a building. I yelped a little. Robert continued to smile at the guy.

"Quite a nice surprise, eh? I mean, how did he get there?" he said innocently.

"Did you do that?"

"How could you accuse me of such a thing? Come on, let's get that dress you wanted…"

Robert entered the dress shop we were previously at. He was chuckling. I knew it. He was the one who did it. He was far too amused to be a bystander. Although, Robert will be amused at seeing people on the brink of death.

You know that, right?

I sighed as I went on my way back to the shop.

**Inside The Shop…**

I saw Robert sitting on the same couch. He was still amused and happy. His legs were crossed and his arms were stretched on top of the couch. He was too gorgeous I almost forgot my plan to annoy him.

Very well then.

No more Ms. Nice Girl.

I walked towards the dress rack and picked up three of them: a white baby doll one, a short black one, and a blue spaghetti-strapped one. Of course, what I only wanted was the white one but since the fitting room sign said "three garments at a time", I decided to use that for my plan.

I walked towards Robert and smiled at him. I made sure he saw the three dresses I was holding. I wanted to rub it in his face.

"Dear, I'll be fitting these for a while, ok?"

He nodded. I walked towards the fitting rooms and went inside one. This was going to be a lot of fun. I just know it.

**After some time…**

**Robert's POV**

I wonder what's taking her so long. She's been in there for an hour. A whole hour. Fitting three dresses would only take you twenty minutes or so, right? (A/N: Men could be so clueless…)

I was getting bored! Almost all of the people inside this darn shop were women. Including me, there were only three men. THREE men.

_I bet they're suffering just like me. Girls are the incarnations of the devil…_

I had it. I stood up and walked towards her fitting room. I stood outside and listened for a while. Strange…I couldn't hear the shuffling of clothes. Is she just standing inside? This is annoying me!

Wait…

She IS annoying me!

I bet she's doing this for revenge because I humiliated her yesterday morning.

I smirked.

She wasn't alone. I had a plan of action too.

I knocked on the door.

"Marilyn, sweetie?"

"Hmm? What is it?"

"Can you please open the door just a little? I need to tell you something…"

"Oh alright. Wait a sec…"

She opened the door wide enough for me to see her face. Her eyes widened when I slid my hand inside and forced my way inside the small room. I locked the door from inside and stared at her. I grinned malevolently at her. I could tell she was a little bit scared.

"Well, well , well…looks like you're not dressed up yet…"

She was still wearing her ordinary clothes. The dresses she picked up were neatly hangered on the side. They showed no signs of being worn or touched. I walked towards her and soon enough, I cornered her.

"Robert, get out."

I chuckled. I leaned closer and whispered to her ear.

"If you don't hurry up…I will personally put those dresses on you…"

She blushed a million shades of red. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Robert Haydn! Get out! NOW!"

I chuckled once again before making my way out. Even if I'm outside now, I could still feel her blushing. Now that's amusing.

_This thing just keeps on getting better and better…_

* * *

I had fun writing this. I hope you had fun reading too. Until the next one-shot! 


	3. A Summer Night

Hello everyone! I'm back with this fic's third installment! Hope you guys enjoy!

**A Summer Night**

**Robert's POV**

Here I am, lying on the living room couch, three in the morning. I couldn't sleep. In fact, I DON'T intend to sleep here even if I was forced to.

Why am I here, you ask?

Well, let me tell you a little "bedtime" story….

**FLASHBACK**

I was sitting in the foot of our bed, inside our room. I was staring at the bathroom door. Marilyn was taking such a long time inside the shower.

And I mean LONG…

I was starting to get bored…and feel sweaty. Let's face it; I'm still part-human. I feel sticky and sweaty without a shower. And on a hot summer day too.

She told me she won't take long. Huh…so almost two hours in the shower isn't long now? (A/N: So clueless…) I was starting to get impatient.

"Marilyn, aren't you done yet?"

"Almost! Just a sec…"

I groaned. She said that for the third time and yet nothing's happening. I tapped my foot and looked around the room, hoping that something will catch my attention. And something did.

Her closet.

I stood up and walked towards it. I was curious. I'm still a young man after all. I have hormones running free inside me. We've been living together for quite some time now but I still haven't seen what's inside of this closet.

I stood in front of it. It was a wooden closet with golden handles. I was having second thoughts but it won't hurt, won't it? So I opened it.

There are a lot of dresses inside. It's as if she was a princess or something. There are also a lot of skirts and blouses. I can tell she's very feminine.

Then I saw this drawer. I didn't know why but I was drawn to it. It's as if my body needed to see what's in it. So I opened it…

For the first time ever, I blushed. All of her…private stuff was inside that drawer. I turned my back quickly, catching my breath. I didn't intend to see that. My hands moved on their own accord!

But God proved to be a cruel sadist…

I was about to close the drawer when suddenly, Marilyn went out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body.

"Robert, it's your turn-"

Marilyn saw what I was doing. I gulped and a sweat ran down my cheek. I turned towards her nervously. She was glaring at me while blushing. I put up a weak smile.

"Yeah, I'll be inside the bathroom now…"

"GET OUT OF HERE, YOU PERVERT!"

**End of Flashback**

Aside from being forced to take a shower in the first floor bathroom, I was forced to sleep here tonight. She said she didn't want to sleep beside a pervert.

_I am so not a pervert…_

I am not a pervert. I am a gentleman. If I am a pervert, I would've done things to violate her already, seeing as I had a lot of opportunities to do so. But I didn't.

Besides, I would never ever look at a woman's private stuff. I would be mortified. It just so happens that that drawer charmed me. It wasn't my fault at all.

…

….

…..

Well, maybe it was my fault in one point or another but still. I do not deserve this. It's so cold down here, and it's summer for God's sake!

I stood up. I've decided.

I am going to sleep inside our room, whether she likes it or not.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm standing outside our room. For some reason, it was quiet inside. TOO quiet. I twisted the doorknob and was surprised to find it was unlocked. Earlier, it was locked. I couldn't use the main key, she had it with her.

So I entered the room. I was surprised. She wasn't there. The bed wasn't touched at all. My eyes widened when I felt something being pressed against my back. Was it…a gun?

"What're you doing here, you pervert?" came the indifferent tone of my fiancée.

I slowly turned around. I smiled at her.

"Hey. So there you are."

She was glaring at me. I continued to smile at her. I wasn't afraid of the gun. I was afraid of her.

"So, what's the gun for?"

"A gun is used for killing, Robert."

"Are you going to kill me, then?"

"I will, if you don't get out…"

"Come on, my dear. It's so cold downstairs. Don't you feel any sympathy for me?" I said in my most innocent tone ever.

"No. I thought you stocked up enough warmth inside you while you were looking at my private stuff."

Ouch. She made it sound like I was the greatest pervert to have ever lived. It's true I felt warmth swarm all over my body when I saw those things. It was quite fortunate a nose bleed didn't grace me with its presence.

"I swear, I didn't mean to look at those."

"What, a spirit possessed you and led you there?" Note the sarcasm in her tone.

"Ok fine. I may have had a little amount of desire to go there and open your closet. But I was just killing time, I swear."

"A pervert's act indeed…"

"Now, can I please sleep here now?"

"No. Unless you want a bullet hole adorn your stomach."

A wide grin adorned my face. It was yet another great opportunity to tease her.

I faked a hurt expression. She raised her brow at me.

"I thought you loved me…" I said, pouting.

She closed her eyes and cursed under her breath. She threw the gun to her right and walked towards the bed.

"Fine. But don't you dare touch me."

"Ouch, that's one heck of a sacrifice there, woman…"

"It's that or the couch, Robert…"

I obliged. Hah! I knew it. She loved me.

I savored my victory as I laid down on the bed's right side. She occupied the left side. I waited for a while. To execute my next plan, she must be sound asleep.

And after a while, she was.

**The next day….**

**Marilyn's POV**

I had a good sleep. For some reason, I felt warm and fuzzy. It felt great.

I slowly opened my eyes. And then I noticed something…

Something terribly wrong…

_What's this? Why does it feel…heavy?_

I looked at myself. My eyes widened.

Someone was hugging me. Tightly. I turned to my right. I blushed.

My fangs appeared and a vein popped in my forehead. Boy, was I angry.

"ROBERT HAYDN, GET YOUR FREAKING HANDS OFF ME!"

**Owari**

This was dancing inside my mind last night. I knew I had to type it. I hope you enjoyed it though!


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